Blood of Me, part 5
by Courtney
Summary: After finding out that she’s not who she thought she was, Tess Anderson sets out on a cross-countr


Title: Blood of Me 

Author: Courtney 

Email: MsDawCreek@aol.com 

Rating: R 

Summary: After finding out that she's not who she thought she was, Tess Anderson sets out on a cross-country journey towards the past she never knew she had. 

Disclaimer: I own them. Please send money. 

Distribution: If you post my fics already then yes. If you don't and you want to then just ask. 

Thanks: First and foremost to Candy and Court, who listened to my whole drawn out description of this story with rapt attention as always and gave me their respected opinions. I don't know how you guys put up with me dear hearts, but I'm sure glad that you do! Also, the RAC chicks, who write such GREAT fic and who always do me the honor of reading my fic and giving me feedback. And a special mention to bec, whose fic Bird in A Gilded Cage inspired me to want to write something different. You are all amazing and I don't know where me and my obsession would be without you! :-) 

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Part 5 

Mother, daughter, sister, lover, Her needles and pins hold the pieces together, She'll thread your pearls with her words of wisdom, In the palm of her hand, your future is there running through Mother, daughter, sister, lover, There's no perfect choice, as you walk in your future Be still a child on your bed of eggshell, Behind your first steps, its her shadows that cushion your fall All questions will simply beg, The most innocent replies. She'll make you a daisy chain And cry as you walk away . . . 

--Mother, Daughter, Sister, Lover by Billie Myers 

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Isabel sat in a chair and looked at the two young people sitting before her. She couldn't stop smiling as she stared at Tess. "God, I can't believe it's you . . . I just can't believe it," she said as she shook her head. 

Tess smiled back. She had just met this woman, but she felt like she knew her already. They had a connection, something that had begun two decades ago and had never really ceased in all that time. Now, finally, they were together again and the connection was whole again. 

"There are a lot of things I'd like to ask," Tess began. 

Isabel nodded. "I'm sure there are." 

"I . . . I guess the first thing is . . . why did you give me up? I mean, I know you were afraid of something, that we were in some kind of danger, but . . ." 

She looked at Carter, then said, "It's a long story; probably one we should discuss later." 

Tess saw her gaze fall on Carter and shook her head. "Anything you can say to me can be said in front of him," she insisted. 

"This isn't the type of thing you just tell people," Isabel told her. "I've only told a handful of people in my whole life." 

"Carter and I don't have any secrets," Tess said. 

"You may change your mind after you find out what I have to say." 

Finally, Carter spoke up. "There's nothing in the world that you could tell me that would change how I feel about Tessie. She's my best friend and she always will be. And whatever your secret is, I'll do everything I can to protect it . . . and to protect her." 

Isabel looked at the young man. His jaw was set in determination, his eyes steely with his resolve. She believed him. Though she'd spent her life being weary of every person she met and never giving her trust to anyone too quickly, she suddenly found herself wanting to trust this total stranger. Because, he wasn't a stranger; he was the boy that her precious Tess had spent a lifetime getting to know. He was the one who had been there for her when she herself couldn't be. He deserved her respect, her gratitude . . . and yes, even her rarely given trust. 

"Okay, I'll tell you," Isabel finally said. She got up from the chair and began to pace the floor of her living room. "I assume you've had some strange things happen to you recently?" she asked. 

"Yes, I have," Tess answered. 

Isabel nodded. Somehow she had felt that. She knew that her daughter was becoming one of them without having to be told. "I suppose the distance you were from us and the fact that no one around you knew who you were caused it to lay dormant for long time. But, this is not something that just happened. You've been . . . special all of your life." She turned back to look at the girl before she continued. 

"I'm sure you've both heard the rumors about Roswell, New Mexico, right?" They both nodded. 

"The spaceship crash, right?" Carter asked. 

"Yes," Isabel nodded. 

"I thought it was a weather balloon?" he said. 

"Some people still believe that," Isabel said. "I don't." 

"So, you're saying . . ." Tess began. 

"I'm saying that something besides a weather balloon crashed in the desert just outside of Roswell back in 1947. I know because . . . because I was on that ship. At least, I think I was." She looked at the two again. They just stared back at her, both listening with rapt attention. Neither looked like they thought she was crazy yet, so she continued. 

"Myself, my brother, Max, and our friend, Michael, were all on whatever ship came to earth that night. We weren't born yet. Somehow, someone from the ship managed to get our incubation pods to safety before they died or were caught or whatever happened to them. Anyway, we seem to be the only living survivors from the crash." 

"So, you're saying that . . . that . . . you come from another *planet*?" Tess asked in astonishment. She stared wide-eyed at Isabel, not looking like she didn't believe, but like she couldn't, not without hearing the words actually spoken. Carter, for his part, looked as though things were finally starting to make sense to him. 

"Yes," Isabel told her daughter, "I'm an alien. I'm from another planet, though I don't know which one. And so are my brother and my friend. We're . . . different. And so are you . . . at least half of you." 

"So my father wasn't . . ." 

"No, he was human. That's what put you in so much danger. Back then, we were under a lot of suspicion. We knew that the FBI suspected something strange about us and we knew that if I showed up in town with a baby then the first thing they'd do was to take you away and test you and do God only knows what to you. You were a hybrid; it would have been too hard to protect you from them." 

"But why not just leave?" Carter asked. 

"I tried," Isabel said. She was still standing behind the chair and began pacing the small stretch of floor in front of the fireplace again. "When I found out I was pregnant, I didn't know what I was going to do," she admitted. "I didn't tell anyone for a while, then I finally told Max. He knew it wasn't safe for me to stay here, so we had to come up with a plan. 

"I left when I was about three months along, just before I started to show. Everyone thought I was going to New York for some modeling job. That was our cover story. I couldn't just disappear, because then they'd track me down and you'd still have been in danger. So, I made up this lie and then I left town. But, I didn't go to New York. I went to Albuquerque. I dyed my hair and changed my name and found a little apartment. The plan was that I would stay there until I had you, then give you up for adoption." She smiled glumly as tears filled her eyes at the memory. "I thought it would be easy. I thought that giving you up would be no big deal, like I could just do it and then come back to Roswell and get on with my life . . ." she trailed off as she turned back to Tess. 

"Nothing has ever been harder for me," she told the girl. "In those six months before you were born, I came to know you. Even before you were here, we had a connection. I loved you before I ever saw your face and giving you away was like . . . like giving up on everything I'd ever wanted, all of my happiness in life was now held within you. Letting you go was like letting go of myself." 

She frowned and tore her eyes from her daughter's, then began to pace again. "But Max knew. He knew me, and he knew that I couldn't do it alone. I think that's why he told me to come to Albuquerque. He knew he'd need to be close enough to come and help me. He knew I wasn't strong enough on my own. 

"So, when it got closer to my due date, he started coming up every weekend. He made up stories about where he was going . . . I'm still not sure what he said. But he was with me when I needed him. He was there on the nights when I would cry myself to sleep because I knew it was almost time and I knew I'd have to give you away soon. He was there when you were born, in that tiny little apartment with Doris the chain-smoking landlord doing her best to help us," Isabel smiled at that, caught up in the memories. Then, her smile faded as the memories continued. "He was there when . . . when I decided that there was no way I could give you up; that I needed you as much as you needed me and I just couldn't let you go." Her eyes found Tess's again and now they were both crying. 

Isabel went back to the chair and sat directly in front of Tess. She took the girl's hands in her own and said, "I wanted you . . . so much. You were everything to me. I . . . I couldn't imagine my life without you. And I was going to keep you. For a month I tried to convince myself that it would be okay. But then . . . then Max said that people in Roswell were wondering why I wasn't back yet and that they were getting suspicious. He was afraid that soon they would come looking and that once they found us . . ." Her eyes skipped down to the floor with those last words. 

"I'm sorry, Tessa," Isabel said as she tried to hold back more tears. "I'm sorry that I wasn't strong enough to find a way. I'm sorry that I gave you up. I thought . . . that I was doing the best thing for you. I thought I was giving you a better life than I could provide. I still think I did. I think you were better off with the people that raised you. It kept you away from all this . . . from what our lives were like in this place." 

Tess still held her mother's hands and squeezed then lightly. "It's okay," she assured her. "I know you did what was best for me. I don't blame you for that. And I was happy . . . I am. I wouldn't give up my parents or the life I had in Chicago for anything in the world. It's just . . . I needed to know you. With everything that's been happening to me lately, I just needed to know where I came from, who I was." She waited until Isabel looked up to meet her eyes, then added, "And you are everything I hoped you'd be." 

Isabel smiled softly at the girl. The fact that Tess didn't hate her for giving her away made her happier than anything else could have. "Please forgive me," she pleaded. 

Tess smiled. "There's nothing to forgive." 

With that, Isabel pulled the girl into her arms. They were both crying as they held each on to each other and finally got back all that hey had lost all those years before. "Thank you, Tessa, thank you so much," Isabel breathed into her daughter's hair. She hadn't felt this complete in all of the last nineteen years. Finally, things were right again. 

Carter sat back and watched the reunion with a tiny smile on his face. In the last few minutes, he'd found out that his best friend was half alien, that her birth mother was completely alien, and that the FBI had once been hunting them down and, for all he knew, still were. But, none of that made any difference. Where Tess and her mother came from didn't matter. She was still Tess, still his best friend in the whole world and still the only person he could ever completely count on. Now that they once again had no secrets from each other, things felt okay one more. 

When Tess finally pulled away from Isabel, she wiped at her eyes and sat back down next to Carter. "Thank you . . . for telling me the truth," she said. 

"You deserved at least that much," Isabel assured her. 

"So, what now? What happens after this?" 

"Well, I guess that's up to you," she told the girl. "I can't tell you what to do next." 

"What about the authorities?" Carter asked. "Are they still after you? Is it still dangerous?" 

"It'll always be dangerous," Isabel told him. "But, I think we're a lot safer now than we were back then. The FBI doesn't hang around town anymore at least. I'm not naïve enough to believe that they've given up, but at least I don't feel like every move I make is watched anymore. Things are about as close to normal as they've ever been around here." 

"What about your brother and your friend? Are they still here?" Tess asked. 

"No, it's just me now," Isabel told her. "Max is married to his high school girlfriend, Liz. They live in Vancouver. They both work at the university there. I see them sometimes, but not that often." 

"Do they have kids?" 

Isabel nodded. "Yes, two. Byron is ten and Sarah is seven. But, they're both adopted. Max and Liz knew it was too much of a risk to have children of their own. After what happened with you . . . well, I guess they were just too scared to try." 

Tess nodded her understanding. "And what about your friend, Michael?" 

"He lives in San Francisco. He's an artist, a sculptor. It's what he loves to do." 

"Is he married? Have any kids?" she pressed. 

"No, neither," Isabel replied. "He's still with the same girl he's dated for years, though. Maria . . . she's from Roswell, too. But they never got married. They don't even live together. She lives in Sacramento and they drive back and forth to see each other." Isabel chuckled, "Those two have always had a strange relationship. I think they're both too scared to admit that they need each other so they just don't say it." 

"I'd love to meet them all," Tess said with a smile. 

"They'd all love meeting you, too," she said. "We'll all have to get together one of these days." A thought occurred to her and she got up. "I have pictures," she said as she went to the bookshelf and pulled out a thick, leather album. She came back to sit in the chair and handed the album to Tess. 

Opening the book, Tess began leafing through. All these faces that seemed at once foreign and familiar intrigued her. She felt like she knew them al already. A picture of Isabel and someone else made her stop. "That's him," she said as she pointed to the picture. "That's the man I saw, the dark-haired man." Carter leaned in closer to get a good look. Isabel came over to sit beside Tess on the couch and looked at the picture she was pointing to. 

"That's Max," she said. "That picture was taken in my parent's living room the day we graduated from high school," she explained. 

Tess's face fell. "I thought . . . when I saw him in my vision, I thought maybe he was my father. I remember him telling you that I was a part of him, too." 

"He's your uncle," Isabel said as she laid a comforting hand on her daughter's shoulder. "Max hated that we had to give you away. He really did love you as much as he'd love any child of his own. Giving you up was almost as hard for him as it was for me." 

Tess nodded and looked back to the pictures. "Is my father in any of these?" 

"I don't think we should talk about your father," Isabel said quickly. 

"But why? I've like to get to know him, too," Tess said. 

"It's not a good idea," she replied. 

"But why?" Tess repeated. 

"He . . . well, your father doesn't know about you," she admitted. "I left before . . . well, before I told him. He never knew I was pregnant and I never told him afterwards. I was just too afraid by then that he would hate me." 

"So he was your boyfriend?" she asked. 

"Yes, he was." 

Tess hesitated on her next question. "Did . . . did you love him?" 

Isabel smiled sadly. "Very much." 

"So, what happened? Where is he now?" 

"He's still here, in Roswell." 

"Do you still talk to him? Are you two still together?" 

"No," Isabel told her. "We haven't been together since before you were born. We were always so different . . ." she trailed off as she thought back on those distant memories of that boy she had loved, that she still loved, if she were honest with herself. 

"Did he know about you? That you were different, I mean?" Tess asked. 

"Yes, he knew," she nodded. "He accepted it . . . I just, I couldn't tell him about you. I couldn't, not knowing that he would never let me give you up. It would have been too dangerous. So, before I left for Albuquerque, I broke up with him. I told him that I didn't love him and that I couldn't continue to see him. It was a lie, of course, but I knew nothing else would have made him stay away." She sighed deeply. "I don't think he's ever forgiven me for that." 

"He didn't know your reasons back then," Tess said. "Maybe if he knew now . . ." 

"No, I can't tell him. It's too late for that," Isabel insisted. 

"It's never too late," Tess said. 

"It is for us." She was definitive in her response, as if to say that the subject was permanently closed. But, Tess had inherited her mother's strong will and she was not going to let this drop so easily. 

"I think you still love him," she said. 

"That doesn't matter anymore," Isabel told her. 

"Love always matters," Tess insisted. 

Isabel turned to her daughter and sighed. "Look, I know you mean well and I appreciate it. It's just . . . he and I . . . well, it's never going to happen. Even if I do still have feelings for him, he stopped loving me a long time ago. I hurt him . . . too badly for him to ever forget. I can't ask him to forgive me now. It's just too late." 

Tess looked at her mother and didn't know what else to say. She felt like there was more to this story, but getting it from Isabel seemed nearly impossible. If she just knew what had happened between her parents then maybe she could help them. But, how would she ever be able to find that out? 

Finally, she decided this discussion could wait. A lot of revelations had been made on this day and they both looked like they could use some rest. Isabel seemed to have the same idea. 

"You two are welcome to stay here. I have a guestroom and the couch pulls out. I'd be glad to have you." The look of hope in her eyes was all that Tess needed to make her decision. 

"We'd love to, right Carter?" she turned to her friend. 

"Yeah, that's great. Thank you." 

Isabel beamed. "Okay, you two go get your things from the car. I'll see what I can find for us for dinner." Tess and Carter nodded and got up to head outside together. 

"Wow, some day, huh?" Carter said as he pulled her suitcase from the Jeep and set it at her feet. 

"Yeah, definitely," she agreed. 

"You freaked out?" 

"Not really. I've had a long time to get used to this. I won't say I knew it all along, but I knew I'd find out something very weird from her." He nodded. "Are you freaked?" she asked. 

"Freaked by you? Never Tessie," he replied and looped an arm around her shoulders playfully. 

"Thanks for coming with me, Carter. I never really told you how much I appreciate it," she said with a smile. 

He looked at his friend and returned the smile. "You know I'd do anything for you," he said softly. 

The sound of his voice and the look in his eyes reminded her instantly of that night in his dreams. Again she was confronted with how her best friend felt about her and with how she felt about him in return. Deciding it was too much to think about after the day they'd had, she bent down to pick up her suitcase instead. 

"We should get back inside," she told him. 

"Yeah," he replied and moved to retrieve his own bag as well. "So, what's your take on this stuff with your father?" he asked as they made their way back up the driveway together. 

"There's more to that story, I'm sure of it. I just need to give her time to tell me," she answered. 

"So, what's your plan till then?" 

"Well, she said he was in town still. I plan to find him." 

"Find him?" Carter asked. "How do you plan on doing that?" 

"We'll look until we find him. It's that simple." 

"And how do you think you'll know who he is?" he asked her. 

"When I see him I'll just know," she said. Carter held the door opened and let her walk in ahead of him. He wondered if that were true, if she would know her father the way she had just known Isabel? He wasn't sure, but he had the sinking feeling that she wouldn't stop until she found him. And he knew he'd be along for the ride. 

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End file.
